Beta Reading Shop-Will Beta for Gold-CLOSED TO NEW REQUESTS

[ML1201]

That sounds great, ML. I'd love to set up a system to look through it as soon as you're ready.

Hopefully I can finish the story soon and then work on rewriting the first few chapters and the prologue. Since there are really only two more things I want to write about in the story. I'll be sure to send you a PM when I think I'm ready for you to critique it.=^_^=

[Kestrad]

Username: Kestrad
Genre and Length of Work: Keep story--10,731 words (as of Interlude 1)
Severity of critique: Basic
Price: 10731
What would like me to focus on about this piece? Is there anything you want me to ignore? I'd prefer if you ignored the occasional typo. I'd like to know if the story so far is cohesive, and (if it falls under basic) where I need to add more details to get more depth to some of the characters.

Uh, I realize that this is a huge request, so if you don't want to do it that's fine. You mentioned PM-ing you chunks or emailing you, though I think if you decide to do this it might work better if you just read my story thread and then PM'd me your thoughts.

[Raneth]

Sure, Kestrad, I've love to do that. It'll be my first basic crit of a long work on this site. I will read through your keep story (up through Interlude 1, correct?) and then email you my thoughts on it.

[Kestrad]

Great, thank you! Yeah, I counted the words up to Interlude 1.

[sammythethief]

Username: MadameRed
Genre and Length of Work: Keep Story; action/adventure. 1365 words
Severity of critique: Basic.
Price: 1,365g I'm certainly no Hemingway! I can dream, though.
What would like me to focus on about this piece? Is there anything you want me to ignore?: You pointed out previously passive voice and he/she verbed in my writing. Help with that would be greatly appreciated. Also, please let me know if you see any spelling mistakes or minor grammatical errors. My fingers often fly over the keyboard faster than I can think.

[MageLorelei]

Username: l337Lorelei
Genre and Length of Work: Keep Story, no other genre. In total (not counting quips and chapter titles) 1909 words.
Severity of critique: Severe.
Price: 3818 g.
What would like me to focus on about this piece? Is there anything you want me to ignore? I would like you to focus mostly on how well I convey what the main character is feeling. Also when something should/should not be a new paragraph. I'm HORRIBLE at that.

Does there need to be an empty space between the two paragraphs?

Spoiler

Like:
Paragraph 1

Paragraph 2

or can it just be like

Paragraph 1
Paragraph 2

and does that make any sense?

[Raneth]

Hey Lorelei, that sounds fine-do you still want the edits? You never PMed me the work or the payment.

[Inspirit]

Username: Hanako
Genre and Length of Work: Keep Story(link is in my signature or do you want me to send through mail?) 2 chapters- 1249 words.
Severity of critique: Severe
Price: 2498g
What would like me to focus on about this piece? Is there anything you want me to ignore?
I want to know if i use the correct grammar, vocabulary and if the story is even interesting. And also how well/(bad) i describe about stuff. If you do find some spellings error, please do point it out.

[Raneth]

Okay Hanako, I can edit that for you!

[Kestrad]

Username: Kestrad
Genre and Length of Work: Keep Story, 2127 words
Severity of critique: Basic
Price: 2127 g
What would like me to focus on about this piece? Is there anything you want me to ignore?
Does the overall concept work? How can I improve the consistency of my characters? Please pay minimal attention to the prologue--it was simply written for the sake of having something there and only serves as filler text at the moment.

Link to the story: 25-tea-house/96970-swallow-point-keep-tales.html