Only in Death Do We Part (Critiques Needed)

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AzuelZorro102
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Only in Death Do We Part (Critiques Needed)

Post by AzuelZorro102 »

*WARNING* Some language, violence and things of that nature*
Spoiler
John lay there, looking helpless and lost, but what's more, the less unconscious he awoke, the more asleep he seemed. It felt like his insides were freezing. Frostbite, he thought; but that was all he managed to think with but the last shred of logical reasoning he had left.
The fatigue was getting to him. He had to get out of this snow. Out of the wind. He had to find Elijah; where the hell is he?! John wondered to himself, actually getting the nerve to prop his head up from the damp cold that was turning into ice below him. His face was pelted with hard ice pellets and sleet but he could barely feel it; his entire body had began to go numb all out of the blue. But he forced himself to stand.
His legs almost crumpled under him. They, too, felt numb. In fact he had lost all feeling in them in the few short minutes he wasted just...standing here.

Why am I not moving? He thought, with the very desperation in his voice beginning too transition even into his thoughts.
Move, dammit! He told his legs angrily, only to have the inside of his mouth, to him it felt like, frozen instantly.
He swallowed instinctively but all he got was the reward of choking on the ice-like blizzard air. He opened his mouth without thinking but could barely breath over the force of the harsh wind blowing in every direction. He tried to take one step forward but sudden pain shot up through his legs and throughout his body. He stumbled. He again forced himself to stand, this time supporting himself with his hands, which burned as he quickly pulled them out of the snow. He again looked up without thinking, this time being smart enough surprisingly to shield his eyes with his now damp-but -frozen-over arm, which was covered in a thin sheet of ice.
He started to walk, and after the minutes he spent, they felt like hours, he had found something.
A hump, in the snow. Covered with a thin blanket of blizzard ice.
And then he saw it.
A shade of red. Hair.
"Oh my God?!" John screamed, running towards Elijah. He knew that shade of red hair anywhere. He let his knees sink in and fall into the snow as he frantically tried to dig Elijah out.
The sudden fear and shock and pain of losing the one and only he truly loved helped mask the cringing frostbitten pain seering through his body.
He hit something-- skin; flesh. He hoped the man was still alive; in fact, he wondered quickly; if himself and Elijah were here, were the others, too?
Nevermind that; he thought, completely crashing the train of thought that had just left the station; he had to save his fiance.
He managed to dig out Elijah's head, but then John sat in the direction of the pelting wind,; so as that the harsh weather conditions of the sudden snowstorm would press against his back instead of allowing them to hurt Elijah any further.
He checked quickly for a pulse as a short break in the storm occurred- the snow-sleet had lightened. He ever so gently put his hand to the side of Eli's neck; near the carotid artery, feeling a weakened pulse.
"Thank God...a pulse..." he thought, before being startled by someone tapping his shoulder. "GAH-" John gasped, only to have his lungs filled with dry, cold air for a second time.
He whipped around, and again being startled by Nukké's presence standing before him. He opened his mouth again, but quickly shut it. //Eh...N-Nukké?// he said to him through telepathy, //I-is...th-that...really you?// he couldn't even manage to cry; his tears woukd end up freezing to his eyelids. //H-how are you not dead?!//
"I'm a deamon, remember." Nukké replied, before John could even finish the word, 'dead'.
John blinked, shaking his head in realized agreement, "O-oh, yeah...uhm-BLEHK-" He choked on more air.
Nukké gestured for him to move over; he did, only being able to feel numbness. Nukké then knealed over Elijah's still half-frozen body-corpse and began saying a healing spell under his breath.
A purplish-black dark energy began to emit from his hands. He put his palms to Elijah's forehead through his bangs and the energy seemed to be flowing into him. After a few seconds that seemed to John more like an eternity, Nukké checked Eli's pulse. It was stronger this time. "Good..." Nukké groaned, then proceeding to dig the rest of Elijah's body out.
He cast another spell over all of them; Elijah, John, and himself; to protect them from the rest of the elements.
"Hey," Interrupted, "Speaking of which, where's Nukka?" He had a hint of urgency in hi voice.
A long pause, before Nukké said anything, "Uhm...Nukka?" He stalled, "Uhm...I used the last of his energy to overtake his body...I-I'm afraid he didn't make it...-"
"WHAT?!" John roared, not caring that he could barely breathe, "YOU MEAN YOU MANAGED TO KILL HIM?!" He snarled.
"N-n-no!" Nukké responded in his defense, "I-I-I was just kidding!!"
"This is not...the time...to kid." John said, threateningly calm.
"H-h-he made it; he's fine, it's just....he told me to find you, b-before he-"
"Died?"
John finished his sentence, still calm, but in a somewhat angry manner.
"-No. He passed out from the cold. He was heading back to the castle when the blizzard hit.
At that second, the blizzard winds started up again, but no one was affected this time because of the spell.
"We're in the middle of the Dãrk Forest; most of the trees are here are so dead that they fell over even before the wind knocked the rest of them out-" when he said this he realized something. The Dãrk Forest. The Shadáia. They should be here this time of year. But...the blizzard. Were he closer to the heart or the outskirts of the Dãrkae? He thought to himself as he glanced around the trees; fallen or not, to look for some signs as to where they were-
"The outskirts. I know what you're thinking, John; the Shadáia won't be able to help you--they wouldn't want to. They...they killed Loca Rojo last year...came to her den and everything....she said one thing outta line and boom---...gone. The only two Shadáia members still alive around here that would even consider helping you are probably either me or Cameron...and Cameron's obviously not here right now and I already DID help you. Now, bring Elijah with you; we have to find the others."
"There are others caught in this storm?!"

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