Axi's Entries: Sugar Dragon and FlameHogs - Critique Welcome

Users were given the opportunity to design a creature and have it released.
User avatar
Axiluvia
MagiStream Donor
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 1319
Joined: September 11th, 2009, 3:32:50 pm
Gender: Female
Location: Near Seattle

Axi's Entries: Sugar Dragon and FlameHogs - Critique Welcome

Post by Axiluvia »

There are two types of creatures for my entry: Sugar Dragons and Flamehogs:

Sugar Dragons
There are actually three sub-sections of the Sugar Dragon; Cookie, Cake, and Pie.

Description of Sugar Dragon:
Unlike most other species of dragons which eat meat, the Sugar Dragon goes after... well, sugar. Anything sweet, from fruits and berries to warm apple pies sitting on a windowsill, it is known well for it's cravings, and the length it will go to get them. Younger magi flock to the dragons, not only since they are smaller than most of their cousins, and therefore easier to take care of, but also because they often know how to get into mischief, and get out without getting caught. Older Sugar Dragons have honed their skills enough to be able to camouflage themselves, and the magi they feel loyal to.

Egg of Cookie Sugar Dragon:
This tan colored egg would be perfectly smooth, except for the dark brown lumpy bits sticking sporadically out of it.
Egg of Cake Sugar Dragon:
This cream colored egg has swirls and ridges, much as if it had been 'whipped' into shape.
Egg of Pie Sugar Dragon:
This egg is a medium brown most of the way through, but has a dollop of pure white about a quarter of the way up to the top.

Hatchling Cookie Sugar Dragon:
A small dragon, about the size of a cookie jar, flutters around, often jumping and bouncing the few tines it doesn't touch the ground. It seems happy to see everyone, and everything. When scolded for being annoying, irritating, or otherwise making a pest of itself, it will just look at you with it's solid, brown eyes, go "Rawr" in an adorable voice, and then scamper off as soon as you forget what you were scolding it for.
Description: The dragon is very small, and a tan color, with dark brown eyes and chocolate chip looking ridges on it's spine. The body also has 'chips', blotches of dark brown coloring on it. The wings are a solid tan as well, with small dark brown nubs. It also has a dark brown spade on the end of it's tail, and a small spike on it's nose.

Hatchling Cake Sugar Dragon:
The Cake Sugar Dragon is the largest of the three, being the size of a cake box. Already being curious and delighting in getting into anything, magi with them become excepting to random crashing sounds, followed by giggling, or the sound of tiny dragon talons scampering off. With no sense of tact, either, it will happily watch anything, and being shooed only seems to encourage them.
Description:
The hatchling is a very light cream, almost milky in color. The scales ares somewhat pitted, giving it a slightly 'spongy' look. The eyes are almond shaped, and a light yellow in color. It has a slight mane, looking like a fallen Mohawk, that is also a light yellow. It's wings have yellow webbing. It also has two small golden horns, that are straight back, and end in a flat point. It's tail is a simple point towards the end.

Hatchling Pie Sugar Dragon:
The Pie sugar dragon is known for its cunning, and being the most patient type of sugar dragon. Which means it can usually wait up to fifteen minutes before becoming impatient and wandering off. It prefers fruit and berries over other sorts of sugary treats, and will do complicated tricks for the chance of a piece of cobbler.
Description:
The dragon's scales are a light brown color, with golden colored highlights and eyes. The underbelly is a dark reddish-purple color, along with the webbing in it's wings. It has a large white sphere on the end of it's tail, with a smaller red sphere on the end of that.

Adult Cookie Sugar Dragon:
Now being an adult, and somewhat calmer, these dragons are still known for their joyful attitude and generous demeanor. Anything it has, it will gladly share, as long as there is still a bit left for them. Of course, if it does share, it expects others to share with them, and will get rather upset when refused.
Description: Same as hatchling, only bigger. Splotches on the body are larger to accompany the size.

Adult Cake Sugar Dragon:
These dragons have become more noticeably greedy and often resort to thieving to satisfy their cravings. With enough training and patience, their demeanor can be somewhat tempered. It is more haughty then the others, and more picky about what it will eat. It will still eat anything sugary, but like felines, will be rather finicky about which particular type It prefers.
Description: The wings are much larger now, and the mane goes down nearly to their shoulders. Their horns are now longer, and are starting to sparkle and glow at the ends.

Adult Pie Sugar Dragon:
The dragon has become more cunning and creative, often doing guessing games and puzzles in exchange for a sugary reward. It is neither overly cheerful, nor easily alarmed. It mostly enjoys lounging around in the sun, with a big grin on their face. It often guards the local kitchens, and in exchange for not raiding them, they would be happy to get a small token of gratitude in return.
Descripton: The dragon is now a darker, medium brown, making the golden highlights more noticeable. It is considerably larger now as well, although not as large as normal dragons.

Flamehogs:

General Description:
Flamehogs are fun loving, cheerful, and good-natured pets for the most part. Happily trotting behind their magi, they are patient for the most part. When something manages to get them riled up, they will not hesitate to jump into action, often not stopping until dropping from exhaustion, or managing to set something on fire. They are fierce and loyal pets, but still have a sense of humor, and accept being made fun of with good graces. Not as powerful as the phoenix with it's flames, it is still a good pet for a magi seeking control over fire.

Description of Egg: This is a squat, brown egg with a line of flame coming out of one side.

Description of Hatchling:
A snout pokes through the egg, and with a crack, the rest of the animal follows suit. Tail wagging and snout twitching, it looks at you with soulful eyes. It is quickly prancing around, sniffing everything with interest. It often sets small things ablaze, because it doesn't yet realize the power of it's flame.
Physical description: A light brown/grey color, with darker brown splotches. The mohawk of flame is very small at this point, and the tuft of flame at the tip of it's tail is small too.

Description of Adult: The flamehog has now grown into a powerful, muscular being. It's become more aware of how powerful it's flames are, and has learned to control them. It rarely sets anything on fire, except those people that really get on it's nerves, and almost always there is still no permanent damage, besides the humiliation of one's pants catching fire. It loves to play, and often will be seen playing hide and seek with other pets, most often the phoenix.
Physical description: Much larger than the hatchling, the mohawk of flame has managed to become larger, and go down it's entire spine. The tuft of flame on the tail is larger as well. Male Flamehogs have noticeably large tusks, while the female ones have smaller ones.

(If anyone wants to draw sprites, I would be very happy. And if the descriptions need to be changed around, that's fine... I don't have any adult pets myself.)

Edited to put both entries here.
Last edited by Axiluvia on September 15th, 2009, 7:03:28 pm, edited 7 times in total.
ImageImageImageImageImageImage
Image
Spoiler

Code: Select all

[url=http://magistream.com/creature/3235655][img]http://magistream.com/img/3235655.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3241280][img]http://magistream.com/img/3241280.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3318694][img]http://magistream.com/img/3318694.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3300682][img]http://magistream.com/img/3300682.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3166857][img]http://magistream.com/img/3166857.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3235654][img]http://magistream.com/img/3235654.gif[/img][/url][/spoiler][/center]
User avatar
Poke_gurl
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 46
Joined: June 22nd, 2009, 4:15:12 pm
Gender: Female
Location: A big ol' COOKIE JAR!

Re: Axiluvia's Entry: Sugar Dragons

Post by Poke_gurl »

Such a yummy idea! :D :italian: lol
Great job!
ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage
>Clicking my creatures won't only make them grow but you get a free taco as well<
User avatar
Axiluvia
MagiStream Donor
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 1319
Joined: September 11th, 2009, 3:32:50 pm
Gender: Female
Location: Near Seattle

Re: Axiluvia's Entry: Sugar Dragons

Post by Axiluvia »

Thanks! When I think of this time of year, I think of gorging myself on sugared treats, so I thought this would fit interestingly.
ImageImageImageImageImageImage
Image
Spoiler

Code: Select all

[url=http://magistream.com/creature/3235655][img]http://magistream.com/img/3235655.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3241280][img]http://magistream.com/img/3241280.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3318694][img]http://magistream.com/img/3318694.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3300682][img]http://magistream.com/img/3300682.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3166857][img]http://magistream.com/img/3166857.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3235654][img]http://magistream.com/img/3235654.gif[/img][/url][/spoiler][/center]
User avatar
Frostfoxen
MagiStream Donor
Member of The Dark Brotherhood Member of Artificer's Association Member of Preservationists Association
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 774
Joined: June 13th, 2009, 11:44:53 pm
Gender: Female
Location: Canada/Blizzard's End Keep

Re: Axiluvia's Entry: Sugar Dragons

Post by Frostfoxen »

Possibly one of those "PLEASE DON'T EAT ME! D:!" creatures.

*giggles*
Help my critters get bigger!
-----------
Follow the creatures to their respective sites.
-----------
Spoiler
ImageImageImage
-----------
More clickies in my profile.
Gender trading. Image-Free Goldmine (off-site).
**Æ**
User avatar
Arimermaid
Member of The Dark Brotherhood
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 371
Joined: June 10th, 2009, 12:10:51 pm
Gender: Female
Location: In an alternate reality!

Re: Axiluvia's Entry: Sugar Dragons

Post by Arimermaid »

Love them! :crazy: They are makeing me hungry! :cool:
I love snakes, none for you!
http://magistream.com/user/Arimermaid ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage All clicking regardless of which site it comes from is very much appreciated!
User avatar
Axiluvia
MagiStream Donor
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 1319
Joined: September 11th, 2009, 3:32:50 pm
Gender: Female
Location: Near Seattle

Re: Axiluvia's Entry: Sugar Dragons

Post by Axiluvia »

That's what I'm hoping for. I was thinking of putting in a description that they smell like freshly baked goods, but I thought that would make them a little too edible.
ImageImageImageImageImageImage
Image
Spoiler

Code: Select all

[url=http://magistream.com/creature/3235655][img]http://magistream.com/img/3235655.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3241280][img]http://magistream.com/img/3241280.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3318694][img]http://magistream.com/img/3318694.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3300682][img]http://magistream.com/img/3300682.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3166857][img]http://magistream.com/img/3166857.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3235654][img]http://magistream.com/img/3235654.gif[/img][/url][/spoiler][/center]
User avatar
Axiluvia
MagiStream Donor
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 1319
Joined: September 11th, 2009, 3:32:50 pm
Gender: Female
Location: Near Seattle

Re: Axiluvia's Entry: Sugar Dragons

Post by Axiluvia »

If anyone has any suggestions on how to improve them, I'm all ears.
ImageImageImageImageImageImage
Image
Spoiler

Code: Select all

[url=http://magistream.com/creature/3235655][img]http://magistream.com/img/3235655.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3241280][img]http://magistream.com/img/3241280.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3318694][img]http://magistream.com/img/3318694.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3300682][img]http://magistream.com/img/3300682.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3166857][img]http://magistream.com/img/3166857.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3235654][img]http://magistream.com/img/3235654.gif[/img][/url][/spoiler][/center]
User avatar
luckydog
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 47
Joined: August 3rd, 2009, 4:49:19 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Axi's Entries: Sugar Dragon and FlameHogs - Critique Welcome

Post by luckydog »

make it uniform: instead of having they then it, keep it it to it.
ImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImage
help me hatch my kira Image
User avatar
Axiluvia
MagiStream Donor
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 1319
Joined: September 11th, 2009, 3:32:50 pm
Gender: Female
Location: Near Seattle

Re: Axi's Entries: Sugar Dragon and FlameHogs - Critique Welcome

Post by Axiluvia »

There, changed it, except for the general description, since it is describing the species in general, and "they" fits better there, IMO.
ImageImageImageImageImageImage
Image
Spoiler

Code: Select all

[url=http://magistream.com/creature/3235655][img]http://magistream.com/img/3235655.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3241280][img]http://magistream.com/img/3241280.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3318694][img]http://magistream.com/img/3318694.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3300682][img]http://magistream.com/img/3300682.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3166857][img]http://magistream.com/img/3166857.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3235654][img]http://magistream.com/img/3235654.gif[/img][/url][/spoiler][/center]
User avatar
Merkwerkee
MagiStream Donor
Member of Artificer's Association Member of Preservationists Association An icon depicting the element Earth
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 19584
Joined: July 30th, 2009, 11:58:03 am
Location: Life persists

Re: Axi's Entries: Sugar Dragon and FlameHogs - Critique Welcome

Post by Merkwerkee »

i like the sugar dragons. they sound tasty
Image

The Shattered Compass
I do free CSS
Image
Sig Set By Incandescence

Return to “Design a Creature Contest”