20 years old and still single! is there something wrong?

[anyu]

Today I was talking to one of my guy friends about a guy here at home that I have liked a lot for the last six or seven years, but I've never been able to ask him out. Now that he doesn't have a girlfriend I am giving him some space and then, after a while, I think I might let him know that I am at least interested in him. If I'm brave enough, lol. But, anyways, the guy I was talking to tonight, said, "And if you want to know if a guy likes you or not? Talk to him. We guys are afraid and rarely make moves."

I dunno how true that is, but I've heard other people say it here and there. Perhaps he's just socially awkward and can't approach girls, or perhaps he has a legitimate point.

As for math....I spent my entire college math class losing my temper at people who tried to explain the work to me and failed. I suck at math. But I learned that the best way to do it is complete the work when the lecture is still fresh in your memory, consult your book and (if you don't have a book or your book sucks) Google, stay calm, and take your time. Don't leave it all for the last minute!

[cuteAkogara]

well the teachers don't lecture us. They are just there if we need help they will explain things to us but they wont sit there and lecture the class.

[Jynxii]

Nothing wrong with that. A lot of people are single for a long time.
And just because you find someone, doesn't mean it will last. I had a boyfriend from 17-23 and we separated about a year ago, so now I am 24, and a single mother of two lol.
Don't worry so much about finding a boyfriend, it will happen when it's supposed to

[Grizz]

At 20, I was free as a bird and loved it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. I know we all see things that say a woman is no complete without a man (and vice versa) but sometimes, we just need that extra time to decide what is most important to us to find Mr/Ms Right.

Also, don't hint. If you really like someone, tell them and make that first move if you feel chemistry. No one can read minds and a lot of us can be a bit thick when it comes to picking up hints about who may/may not like us.

[TheStrangeWeirdo]

I'm not sure why everything is saying the same thing, that you don't need a boyfriend, etc.
Because really, what I'm pretty sure she's saying is that she hasn't gotten one and is afraid she is seen as undesirable. She's wondering why no one has asked her out at 20.

[Kamorth]

My first boyfriend was autistic, towards the mild end of the spectrum but it was enough to be obvious. We're still friends over half our lives later, but we didn't work as a couple because of other things (he's religious, I'm not, he wants a 1950s housewife, I love cooking but hate cleaning, I wanted a guy who could keep up with me in games, he thought gamer chicks were just trying to fit in with the guys, things like that).

I went through a similar phase in my late teens/early twenties where I felt like I must be undesirable. I'm a bigger girl, not unhealthily so, and diet and excercise don't work that great for me because of a genetic disorder. I had all kinds of screwed up ideas about it because of abuse when I was a child and I ended up sleeping around a lot because I thought it would make people love me. It took me a long time to learn that that wasn't the case and I was just hurting myself. So I gave up on it and started focussing on me and what was wrong with me. I tried to find things I didn't like about myself and ended up discovering that there weren't many at all and I was actually a pretty good person. After three years of being single (but gathering a LOT of very strong and healthy friendships) and just being me, I met someone who saw in me what I did, and we've spent almost every second of every day of he last 7 months together. We have yet to get sick of each other's company once.

Don't change who you are to get someone, anyone, to like you. The person who is right for you will adore you exactly how you are. Do you really want to find someone just so you can act like someone you're not all the time? I know that when you're twenty you feel like you have to grow up, now, or you'll get left behind, but that really isn't the case. Fortunately, in today's world, people don't look at you srangely if you're a strong, independant woman who happens to be single. By all means, ask a guy out if you like him (because they really are shy and have trouble making the first move, especially if they REALLY like the girl), have some fun, experiment, enjoy being young, but remember to be you and do it because you want to, not because everyone else is. By the sounds of things, most of the guys you're friends with see you as one of the boys. The way you describe how you dress makes me think that mostly. The thing is, in my experience, the chick who's just another one of the guys is the one they're all secretly crushing on but too scared to ask out. Like everyone else has said, be upfront and make the first move! Then give them a few seconds to stop their mind from imploding and see how it goes from here.

The sexiest things about a woman are confidence and being sure of themselves. Unfortunately, they're also the things guys find most intimidating, so all us sexy, confident, self assured girls have to be very forthright with our intentions, or he's going to be asking himself "Is she really interested in ME? Or am I reading too much into this?"

[TheStrangeWeirdo]

That is exactly what I'm talking about, Kamorth.
Don't drop subtle hints. Make clear your intentions. Make them very clear! That, or simply ask the guy out.

Your boyfriend sounds very different from me.
Gamer chicks are hot, in my opinion.

[Kamorth]

That is exactly what I'm talking about, Kamorth.
Don't drop subtle hints. Make clear your intentions. Make them very clear! That, or simply ask the guy out.

Your boyfriend sounds very different from me.
Gamer chicks are hot, in my opinion.

It was 15 years ago, only boys played Magic, D&D, or video games. He also thought I had an unfair advantage, being the only one in the room who knew what boobs looked like when they weren't on a screen or magazine page.

My current boyfriend buys me SWToR and Tera time, and thought the most romantic valentines day gift he could give me was four Eternal Dragons for my Emperor deck. He was right.

I take it you're a dude Weirdo? Your opinion is probably the most useful to Akogara.

[TheStrangeWeirdo]

Yes, I am, as you can see from my gender thingo under my picture.
I also think that my opinion is worth the most, as I don't think a male has commented yet, and I am after all, one of the gender, thus I know guys far better, most likely.

You had an unfair advantage in... What? o.o

Zomg. I wish I had a girlfriend that were that simple. Then I wouldn't have to worry about, 'oh shit will she like this ring? Maybe she'd like a watch?'
Instead, I could just get her Skyrim, or something, because I'd probably know what kind of games she's into.

[Jynxii]

I'm not sure why everything is saying the same thing, that you don't need a boyfriend, etc.
Because really, what I'm pretty sure she's saying is that she hasn't gotten one and is afraid she is seen as undesirable. She's wondering why no one has asked her out at 20.

I know what she was saying, and I was saying she shouldn't worry about anything, that some day she will find someone, but worrying over it and thinking something is wrong isn't doing any good for herself, and sometimes that can reflect on others and cause a hindrance to her meeting people. And I think that's what most people meant as well.

I have only been with one person and I am 24, so it's not uncommon for people to have only been asked out once or twice or never, especially young like at 20. And just because a guy hasn't voiced his like for you doesn't mean there isn't one that doesn't want you, you might just not see it. Try asking a guy out instead of waiting if it's that hard.

Worrying about small things isn't what she should be doing, it will happen in time, so enjoy being single while it lasts.